Untamed

Untamed

Hardcover - USA - First edition.

Author Glennon Doyle Published 2020-03-10 Type Non-fiction Genre Self-Help Themes Divorce, Family, Feminism, LGBT, Relationships, Religion, Self-help Age Group Adult

Untamed is a collection of memoirs by Glennon Doyle, published on 2020-03-10.

As the title and introduction suggest, the theme of the book is to "untame" yourself by unlearning all the burdensome indoctrination our culture puts on us in order to become your true self. The author gives examples of how she did this in her own life in order to overcome many difficulties. The book focuses on women, but nearly all of the stories can easily be applied to men.

Personal

Own?	No.
Read?	Audiobook read by Glennon Doyle.
Finished	2024-08-24.

My friend Cristeen was reading through this book and told me about it because she thought I would enjoy it. I added it to my list and I did end up enjoying it.

Review

Overall:

Good

• Doyle frequently talks about how important it is to live your own life and not be saddled by cultural or religious indoctrination which tries to force you to be something you're not. In particular, she writes about the dangers of patriarchy and how it forces women to become martyrs, and theocracy and how it forces everyone to be subservient. This is extremely good advice that should be said frequently and loudly.
• Doyle covers a lot of heavy issues including drug abuse, divorce, cheating, and so on. Her insight on these topics is beneficial, and it's nice to read about them in a real sense rather than the artificial form from fiction.
• Her section on racism was spot on. She acknowledges that growing up in a racist culture caused her to be racist even if she doesn't want to be and doesn't understand how, she write about the importance of accepting your racism when others call you out on it, even when it wasn't your intent and you don't identify your behavior as racist, and she talks about why it's necessary to seek leadership from various people of color to better educate yourself on how to unlearn and dismantle systems of racism.
• She rightly points out that the modern anti-abortion movement is a recent political movement and doesn't have a basis in morality or religion.
• I like that her default neutral pronoun is feminine, something I've been trying to teach to my girls. I also like how she describes "god" as being a woman, not because she think gender applies to her god, but because having a male god is so important to so many patriarchal men, that it would do them some good to have their belief challenged.
• I like that she openly discusses her hesitance with calling herself a Christian since her views have moved so far away from the barbaric beliefs that are still so popular in modern Christianity. I also like that she describes her own view of god as being at odds with Conservative churches.

Bad

• During one memoir, Doyle kind of gives the game away the game by quoting another memoir author saying, "I don't remember the stories, I write them." To me, this is an implicit admission that Doyle's own stories, while being based on real events from her past, are nonetheless reconstructed and reworked based to be more interesting and deep. I know this isn't uncommon with memoir authors, not just because old memories are difficult to reconstruct accurately, but also because real life is rarely exciting enough for a book. I see this as a reminder to take everything she writes with a grain of salt.
• I grew up religious as well, so I understand why Doyle frequently describes natural neurological and psychological phenomena in spiritual terms when she's not familiar with their scientific origins. I don't fault her too much for this, but it would benefit her to learn more about how the brain causes our emotions so she wouldn't describe her feelings as "god filling her with golden light giving her a divine knowing of the truth of her soul." Her more down-to-earth wife suggests that she's really just talking to herself and trusting her own intuition, and she, thankfully, admits there may be some truth to that.
• While I certainly prefer her unorthodox view of religion and admit it's ethically superior to the traditional view of gods, her concept of a god is still just as untestable and indemonstrable as any other, so she can't objectively explain why her personal beliefs more accurately represent "god." Thankfully, she has the wherewithal to admit she doesn't and can't know the mind of god.
• One section is about trusting your body instead of your mind. This is ludicrous since the feelings we feel with our "gut" or "heart" are actually caused by our minds. Our bones, skin, and muscles don't think, only our brain can do that.
• My view of love is an emotion which, when properly nurtured, grows over time through frequent thoughts and experiences. Because of this, when I read her story about meeting her future wife and instantly falling in love, it makes me think the retelling was either greatly embellished or she's using the word "love" the way I use the word "infatuation."

Ugly

• Doyle uses words like "know," "truth," "god," "soul," and so forth in a manner inconsistent with colloquial English. She does sometimes give the reader a general idea of what she means through examples, but never with detailed definitions. Because of this, her word use is always nebulous. For example, she frequently uses the word "know" in a manner more consistent with "what feels right for you." While a person's intuition is important for making quick decisions like to run when you don't feel safe, it is not a reliable method for separating fact from opinion, just look at all the logical fallacies and paradoxes that humans so frequently fall prey to. In one section, she even suggests people trust their own "knowing" or "truth" regardless of how illogical it may seem. This seems foolhardy to me and the fact that her book details numerous times when she realized in retrospect she was wrong should have been sufficient evidence for her not to implicitly trust her "knowing." If a person is diagnosed with a disease, they should probably trust the expertise of medical doctors over their own intuition if they want to be cured. She does state she won't ask directions from someone who has never been where she's going, which I think implies she would still ask directions from someone who has been there before, (i.e., she would still seek and accept the advice from experts), but she leaves a lot of ambiguity in her platitudes.

Media

Covers

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  Hardcover - USA - 1st edition. I like the abstract fluid paint work.

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