Progressbar95

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Progressbar95 is a casual adware multi-genre video game developed and published by Spooky House Studios for Android and iOS in 2019 and updated with additional minigames in 2020.

Personal

I found this game while looking for a new game for my phone. I downloaded it based on the screenshots I saw of it. After playing casually for several weeks I unlocked every OS, hardware upgrade, and wallpaper, getting the last upgrade on 2020-05-18.

Status

This game is free. I have beaten it.

Review

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4 3 5 3 3

Best Version: Android

— This section contains spoilers! —

Good

  • The game does a decent job simulating the look and feel of various versions of the Windows OS through the years.
  • As you progress through the game, new features appear in the main game. The pop-ups become more complex, the environment more dangerous, etc.
  • The Minesweeper clone, Progress Sweeper, adds an interesting element to the game with two different types of mines.
  • The game has a lot of interesting Easter eggs like bugs, dead pixels, DOS prompt secrets, etc.
  • The wallpapers are not only very reminiscent of the old OS wallpapers, but also well-crafted.
  • Having Clippy as the villain is a nice touch.
  • Although the game has ads frequently, you can immediately skip them by pressing back.

Bad

  • The reward for getting a perfect game is too minimal. I found that, by purposely collecting orange blocks, I would finish the game much faster, and still get nearly the same number of points.
  • While your progress of upgrading hardware and unlocking operating systems and wallpapers are saved correctly, your progress in the DOS prompt, the achievements, and your defrag/firewall numbers are reset every time the game has to swap out of memory, which is really annoying.
  • Hearts (lives) aren't very important. You're given 3 new lives after each level, and, losing them all only sets you back a level.
  • The DOS prompt mini-game could have been a lot better. Unfortunately, it's just a randomly generated file structure that doesn't make any sense. Also, DOS never expected the user to type the extension of executables.
  • I didn't find Progress Defender very enjoyable, although, I'm not a very big fan of tower defense games in general.
  • Because it's so small and dense, the Minesweeper game very frequently requires you to guess at the location of mines, rather than use logic.
  • I like the addition of the ball in the main game, but it awards so few points, it's pointless to go for. I once tried my best to keep it going as long as possible, and I didn't even reach 1,000 points with it.
  • The color schemes aren't always correct. For example, Windows 1 and 2 used the CGA color palette, but the game often uses colors not part of that palette.
  • The progress bar which shows hardware upgrades doesn't increase in a linear manner, but in some rather strange fractional manner. You can see this if you're very near an upgrade and score a lot of points. The line will draw very slowly to the upgrade, and very fast on the next empty progress bar.
  • The upgrades start to get a bit ridiculous. For example, you can upgrade to a 100 TB SSD!

Ugly

  • Like most adware games, the game starts out with fairly fast progression, but, as you make it deeper into the game, upgrades become few and far between, requiring you to play the game long after you've become tired of it if you want to unlock everything. For example, you get enough points to unlock all the hardware upgrades to get the next OS before you get enough to unlock the wallpapers, and long before you reach level 100 to obtain expert mode.

Links

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