Kansas City, MO - 2008/04/17 - 2008/04/20

Thursday: Day 1

Back in January my friend Kimberly and I decided to take a vacation together. She lives in Kansas City, Missouri, and since she last came here, it was only fair that I go down there to see her. I woke up a 4:00 AM on Thursday morning to ensure that I'll make it to my 7:30 flight in time. This left me with only three hours of sleep, but that's enough of a recharge to get to the airport, and on the plane to sleep again. Well, several minor slow downs occurred. The fast food place I stopped to eat wasn't that fast, there was construction on one of the highways, and the shuttle at the airport was incredibly slow. To sum it all up, I missed checking my bags by about five minutes, and therefore missed my flight. So, I was put on stand-by for the 9:20 flight. Two hours of waiting and hoping later and I did get on the next flight, and everything was fine.

I arrived in Kansas City shortly after 11:30 rather exhausted from spending the last five hours dealing with airports. It was all worth it though, because I was greeted by a very enthusiastic friend! Kimberly took me to her apartment to show me around and shortly after we went to a nice diner called Corner Cafe. Since they didn't put an accent over the e in "cafe" I kept calling them the Corner Kayfe. Now with a belly full of food my sleepiness really hit me so instead of going crazy downtown we just napped for awhile.

After awaking, it was a little rainy, so our outdoor plans were cancelled. We, instead, went to play pool at a local tavern. They had good food, but poor service. Afterward we the movies and saw 21, which is very different from the book it's based on, but a lot more flashy. It was pretty late after the movie, and I still hadn't regained my energy from the lack of sleep and time shift, so we called it a day. No pictures were taken, but a lot of fun was had.

Friday: Day 2

For breakfast we went back to the Corner Kayfe and then drove downtown to witness the Bodies Revealed exhibit at Union Station. It was really exciting and not at all gross. Although, the severed penis did make me a little queasy. They don't allow pictures, so nothing cool from that.

After the exhibit we went to the Country Club Plaza which is an uppity downtown area. Here's an odd thing about Kansas City: even though it's fairly large, they don't have any malls. Everything is an outdoor market environment. This is kind of interesting, but it was kind of chilly that day, so I would have preferred a mall. We met some interesting characters there. The security guard at one of the parking structures was creepy because she had vampire fangs. Not on purpose, she just didn't get braces, and her canines practically jumping out of her jaw. There was also a bum begging for cash. His line was, "Can you help me out, I'm trying to put a down payment on a cheese burger." I thought this was funny, but when I laughed he got pissed at me. It didn't matter much, I wasn't going to give him money anyway since he would probably just spend it on beer and blow.

For dinner we drove around in circles for close to an hour looking for Jack Stacks BBQ, but it was worth the wait. The food was excellent and I had their highly touted crown rib beef. Afterward we headed back to Kimberly's to enjoy some more sleep.

The overcast skyline of downtown Kansas City.

Bridge into town.

The Convention District.

One of the many bright wall murals.


Apparently oral sex is a major part of gambling.

Want to scar your child for life? Take them to see this. It looks like it's right out of Saw.

This won't give your kid nightmares. Never.

Inscestual pedophilia is encouraged in Kansas City.


Used needles everywhere! The label says it's only supposed to be used for insuline, so we can be sure it wasn't used for heroin.

One of the many, many fountains in the city.

Hey, Kansas City bakes dogs too! (There is one in Seattle as well.)

The most popular gas station in the city.



Kimberly's son, Issac (spelled as written).

Kimberly's daughter, Pretty. Notice the super villain eyes and the fur that is brighter than it used to be.



Saturday: Day 3

We ate breakfast at a little Italian restaurant called Cascone's. The food was alright, but it was overpriced for it's quality. We also had a very interesting couple sit next to us. The guy was very gay and the woman was, like, oh my god, valley girl. She even wore bright green spandex tights with those awful fuzzy boots. It was a great laugh.

After breakfast we wandered around the Historic Kansas City Market which was still ramping up for the warmer weather, but there were still plenty of nice shops to look through. After we had our fill we drove out to the Martha Lafite Thompson Nature Sanctuary. We ended up hiking down every trail they have and enjoying ourselves all the way. We got lunch at a Mexican restaurant called Los Compas in Liberty Square, a place that has a lot more one-way roads than it needs. Then we went back to Kimberly's and took a nap and then prepared for dinner.

Dinner was at Skies which is a rotating restaurant on the top of a hotel. It was nice and fancy and I broke my record for most expensive dinner ever with a $158.00 bill. I really liked the view and the food, but unfortunately, about halfway through our meal, a group of really stupid, really loud girls sat next to us and proceeded to say incredibly stupid things and giggle with incredibly annoying laughs. They kept taking pictures of the night skyline with their camera flashes turned on. I can't wait until they develop the pictures and see nothing but glare. Retards. Anyway, morons aide, dinner was great and I got to catch a glimpse of the nightlife, but we were too tired to do any late night hanging out.

More of Kansas City's downtown.

You might be a redneck if your truck has a Jesus fish and a cross, and their both surrounded by horseshoes, and your Ford logo is broken and hanging off-center, AND you have a NASCAR sticker!

A downtown panoramic shot.

Some of the painted walls inside the nature sanctuary.


A light-up diarama.

Another painted wall.

Honest officer, it's not what it looks like!

The McGowan bridge.


A hopper!

A mouse with it's insides on the outside.

A small waterfall.

A closer shot.


Kimberly jumps the creek! Yes, I know I said I wouldn't post it. I lied.

He didn't move all that fast.

Unknown pink flower.

Climb the honey locust. I dare you.


I found a geochache out of the corner of my eye. It wasn't hidden very well.

A really big dead tree.

The bull in the front is peeing! Hurray!

Finally! I summer when my arms aren't broken!


You'd be surprised how happy I was to be able to climb again.

Kimberly would rather keep her feet on the ground, thank you.

A black racer that I almost stepped on. He was quite agitated, but is buddy a few feet later didn't even take notice of us.

When trees fall they take the bedrock up with them!



This blue invasive flower is taking over the bloodroot.

Kimberly dressed up for dinner.

Egomaniacal Dean dressed up for dinner.



Trying to convince her to smile.




Sunday: Day 4

On Sunday we had breakfast at Mimi's Cafe (another café without the accent). It wasn't that impressive, but it was part of the Zona Rosa shopping center, another outdoor mall. We walked around there and visited all the shops. After that we went to a pizza place with an arcade which was supposed to have DDR, but just recently replaced it with a Pump It Up, which is like having a Cadillac and trading it in for a golf cart. We played two games and then left to find a real DDR. They had a SuperNova 2 at the arcade in the Ameristar Casino. I never played a SuperNova 2 before, and I was really disappointed by it. All the menus are a lot more clunky and I couldn't figure out how to get all the music. I hope my local arcade never upgrades.

After that we went back to Kimberly's, I loaded up my bags, we had a quick stop at Wal-Mart, and then we were off to the airport. I wasn't taking any chances of missing my flight this time, so I was an hour and a half early. Six hours later I made it home to my cozy bed. The trip was a whole lot of fun, and good times were had by all.

Does this candy cane make me look sexy?

Issac is not amused.

More wasted water.

Dean doesn't like Pump It Up.


Now that's more like it. Damn my arms look sexy here!

All sweaty! That's three states I've played DDR in now.

On my way to the airport. Notice the crappy theme park in the background.




People in Missouri shop at the Hy-Vee. The don't make room for merging traffic. The lanes of Kansas City's Main Street are far too narrow. The Missouri accent isn't that different from Michigan. Kansas City's motto should be, "We waste water!"