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Unlike last year, I actually came prepared to camp out at the Faire. I had my new nifty tent, my jugs of H2O, my shampoo/conditioner, and all that other crap that my body
likes. (If I don't feed it hygienic substances, it will make me smell bad! Stupid body!) Anyway, the drive wasn't so bad, I passed Climax
Michigan on the way and I arrived there at 12:30 Saturday afternoon. I went around looking for the lovely Larissa. We found each other near the joust, and began the day.
Saturday I was dressed in my nobleman garb. Maroon doublet, classy shirt, black pants, and black velvet cloak. Stuff happened. We hung out for awhile. Then we noticed the
King and Queen were sent to jail! That's funny! Then I got sent to jail. Not funny. It seems Larissa had me arrested for... for uh... (I plead the fifth!) Anyway, So I was
sitting in jail. I decided that I needed a nice chair, so I took the benches and made a lay-z-boy!
Eventually, my court date was set up, and I was put on stage to pay my debt to society. And what was the payment you may ask? To sing "Sweet Transvestite" from the musical
Rocky Horror Picture Show while dressed in a pink boa, of course! I did a pretty darn good job, if I do say so myself. After leaving jail, Larissa and I split
directions for awhile to check out some stuffs. She arrived out of breath and panting, and also wearing a -very- sexy bodice! I had to buy it for her, it was just too much not
to!
Eventually, 6:00 PM rolled around, and the faire closed. I set up camp in the back, and moved all of Larissa's stuff into my tent. (Which took around 14 hours.) And we all
went out to eat at Perkins. We ended up staying excessively late, and they had already started cleaning the restaurant by the time we left. We made it back in time to listen
to the campers next to us discuss bowel movements for about 30 minutes. What fun!
The next morning came all too early. But what better thing to do after five hours of sleep, then take a shower from a hose? Ahhh... frigid water and no privacy, it doesn't
get better than that! Breakfast was some blood clogging Burger King and then we returned to prance around the faire again. The second day I dressed down a bit into some
peasant clothes.
Both days were unbearably hot and I am now sunburned quite nicely. Plus, sleeping on some not too comfortable dirt made my muscles rather sore. All together I had a
spectacular time feasting on turkey legs and listening to very nice music.
The second day ended all too quickly, and before I knew it the Faire was closing. We stayed in Galesburg for dinner (which was some icky pizza.) And at 8:30 PM I began my
journey home. I was exhausted and the drive was not exactly safe. I did make it home intact and slept very well that night.
Thus ends my Renaissance Faire odyssey. Now I get a week to recuperate to do it all again!
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