Richard Garriott

© Copyright 2001-2005: Dean Tersigni. All rights reserved.


You know you play Ultima too much when...

  • You wear a red cape where ever you go.
  • You always carry a small black stone with you.
  • Instead of saying "Hello, how are you?"; you demand: "Name, Job!"
  • You have a hammer right next to your monitor just in case the Guardian thinks of showing his face again.
  • You've constructed a circle of stones in your back yard, and you are just waiting for a moongate to show up.
  • You know what every reagent is used for.
  • ...Even the Pagan reagents! Yikes!
  • You think horses can talk, but they are always so lippy.
  • Your solution to the neighborhood bully is: VAS FLAM!
  • You refer to yourself as 'The Avatar'.
  • ...And you believe it!
  • To think you can speak garggish.
  • You are deathly afraid of Tetrahedrons.
  • You brazenly walk into people's houses, steal their money, eat their food, and leave.
  • You're a member of the UDIC.
  • ... OR you were an original member of the Ultima Dragons on Prodigy!
  • You've made a virtue shrine in your bedroom.
  • You are trying to get governmental funding to find the lost island of Ambrosia.
  • You can be heard humming the song 'Stones' in public.
  • ...And you're not bothered by this!
  • You insist on calling your best friend 'Iolo'.
  • You always wear an ankh.
  • You've memorized the Book of Forgotten Mantras.
  • You carry on a full conversation with every person you meet.
  • You've beaten every Ultima game.
  • ...In one week!
  • Your boss tries to make you do something you don't like, and you try and Death Vortex him!
  • You've argued for five straight hours with your friends as to the correct pronunciation of 'Shamino'
  • You've formulated several plots to assassinate Lord British, just because you're not supposed to kill him.
  • You don't write with letters, you write with runes like everyone else.
  • You know Richard Garriott personally.
  • You -are- Richard Garriott (submitted by LB).
  • You cried when Dupre martyred himself. (I know I did!)
  • You ask people at Sears if they have a Firedoom Staff available.
  • You make compilation CDs from the Ultima music.
  • You contact (i.e. stalk) the people involved in creating the games.
  • You skip baths to play Ultima.
  • You skip meals to play Ultima.
  • You would rather play Ultima then go on a date.
  • ...In fact you've cancelled dates in order to play Ultima more.
  • You can read Ophidian without a translator!
  • You're currently re-making an Ultima game.
  • You have a girl-friend, her name is Natassia from Ultima VII.
  • You're actually getting these jokes.
  • You've written your own "You know you play Ultima too much" list.

  • Here are some rather cute/funny screen shots of Ultima

    All I wanted to do was play in the fountain! See what you made me do? I just want to play...

    This is how a MAN breaks into the bank! Just rip the door right off the hinges! I don't need no stinking keys!

    This guard takes his job SO seriously that he doesn't even try and stop someone in the vault of the bank at midnight!

    I just thought I'd sit down and get comfortable.

    Here we see the Avatar with some nice cute children.

    Here we see the nice cute children hurting poor Avatar.

    Here we see the Avatar pulling out his trusty magical axe of death!

    Here we see the nice cute children... DEAD! Bwa ha ha!

    The tailor seems to be trying to short change you! Her story doesn't seem to match her wares.

    Many people think U8 was a step back when it came to object interaction. Here we see the Avatar defying the programmers by demanding that he be allowed to use the boats!

    Two orges at once! They actually begin killing each other!