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The Bionic Commando Database

Humor


Even though the game has a very serious war theme, a geek like myself can find plenty of strange humor in it. The game in itself, was fraught with many misspellings and typos, which just add to the silliness of it all. None of these screenshots are altered, all of them are possible.

Last Chance
Tired of living by the rules? Why not break the laws of physics and go swinging inside the ground? "I'm not dead yet!"

MORON!
Oh good. We is findin' some darn good weapon for us guys to be usin' so's that we's can fight those gull darn bad guys!

Spike Walk
Here we see a dwarf soldier happily walking along a floor of razor sharp spikes. Apparently, due to his extreme light weight, he is able to accomplish this feat, which would normally kill you.

Sun Tan
Why worry about going to the tanning salon, when you can just stick your face into an exploding generator? This is the cost-efficient way to tan.

Spike Face
Notice the man in white walking across the bridge. Yes, he does have a huge spiked ball sticking out of his face. You'd think he'd be a little upset about that.

Harsh
Yes, he did just call you a nerd. But seriously now, I made a freaking website about the game! I'm obviously a nerd!

Spike Walker
It is possible to stand on spikes without getting hurt if you time your bionic arm just right. For some reason you are able to defy gravity this way.

You suck!
Near the very end of the game, there is a spiked pit that is horribly easy to get over. Most would wonder why it was even there. But, yup! It can still kill you! Notice how you're head gets impaled into the wall.

What did he just say?What did he just say?
I take this bazooka? What, to be your lawfully wedded wife? There is a chopper down here? Maybe down THERE, but certainly not here!

EXPLOD!
After killing Master-D, you nonchalantly exit the Badds base. But wait! The base is about to EXPLOD! OH NO! ... Wait a minute. What they heck is explod? Is that anything like explode?

No speak the English.
It too early? It too early? They spend millions to make a cybernetic soldier, and they can't even get him to speak proper English!

Lefty Righty
Here we see the impossible! Rad is clearly seen using his left hand as his bionic arm. Then in the zoom in, we see his right hand being the bionic arm. No sprite mirroring here, this is just amazing negligence on the artist's part.

Hovering
Here's Rad cheerfully hovering in mid-air. Thanks to the limited sprites Rad can easily remain on the beam without even having to touch it. (Thanks Gricksigger)

Copyright 2002-2003: Dean Tersigni. All rights reserved.