Name: Captain Rad Spencer (Isn't that sad?)
Weapons: Bionic Arm, Lotsa guns!
Goods: Great Hair!
Bads: Can't jump
Bio: This is you! It's up to you to rescue Super Joe, and save the world from the oppressive tyranny of Generalissimo Killt. He wears cool shades too.

Name: Super Joe (Is his first name Super?)
Weapons: Machine Gun
Goods: Uhhh...
Bads: Got captured!
Bio: Super Joe was the Federation's first attempt at stopping Killt. Obviously, he didn't succeed, because they're sending you to save him.

Name: Neutral Guard
Weapons: Rifle
Goods: Doesn't attack unless you shoot in the neutral zones.
Bads: Attacks you when you shoot in the neutral zones!
Bio: It's a lonely job telling people that they can't shoot and then trying to kill them if they do. On the plus side, you get to ask for permits every so often.

Name: Generalissimo Killt
Weapons: Doesn't need 'em, has plenty of bodyguards.
Goods: He gets killed by the man he tries to resurrect!
Bads: He insults you!
Bio: It's because of this loser that you have to save Super Joe. He's also trying to recreate the Badds' gigantic killer robot: Albatros.

Name: Your Commander
Weapons: He prefers hiding behind privates instead of fighting.
Goods: Tells you what to do.
Bads: Keeps telling you what to do!
Bio: He's just another one of those gimps at HQ, cramming directions down your throat. It'd be nice if he gave it a rest, and let you do your job.

Name: The Enemy
Weapons: Guns, knives, bombs, missiles, etc.
Goods: They make good practice targets.
Bads: They keep trying to kill you!
Bio: Basically they decided to become part of the Badds army because they felt they were too good for the Federation. Because of that, they must die. Painfully if possible.

Name: Badds Commander
Weapons: A riding crop?
Goods: He just stands there and lets you kill him.
Bads: He mocks your ability to destroy the main system! (Heaven forbid!)
Bio: It's really surprising that this guy has lived as long as he has. He makes no effort to hide, or defend himself in anyway when you try and kill him. Weird.

Name: Bearded Soldier Boss
Weapons: Knife, Bionic Arm, Shield
Goods: You don't have to waste time killing him.
Bads: He's annoying.
Bio: This guy couldn't look more German if he tried. Although killing him is difficult, you rarely need to. Plus, he taunts you something fierce.

Name: Wired Gunner Boss
Weapons: Lots of wires.
Goods: Um. None!
Bads: He actually poses a threat.
Bio: He's just your average 8 foot tall huge cybernetic soldier, who has a passion for telling you that he's going to kill you. Nothing new.

Name: Destroyer-3
Weapons: Rifle.
Goods: Gives you Joe's Machine Gun
Bads: Sits around, doesn't do anything.
Bio: Destroyer-3 has two identical brothers, Destroyer-1 and Destroyer-2. Apparently only Destroyer-3 was worthy of keeping Joe's Machine Gun safe.

Name: Hal
Weapons: Hyper Bazooka!
Goods: Gives you the Bazooka
Bads: None!
Bio: Hal is a loose cannon. HQ rarely knows what he's up to, but he's one of us, and he's a great soldier!

Name: Master-D (Adolph Hitler)
Weapons: Helicopter machine gun.
Goods: You get to watch is head explode!
Bads: He makes you fight the Albatros
Bio: Well it kind of sucks when you kill yourself, only to be resurrected a few hundred years later. So it kind of makes you want to take over the world.