January, 2010

When we made it, did you hear a bell ring?

Feeling: Cold Sore

2010/01/29

Two more lengthy hours of DDR last night. Played some In the Groove as well and passed Linkin Park's "Breaking the Habit" at 10 foot difficulty! w00t!

The General Medical Council finished their lengthy review of the Wakefield study (the discredited study that linked autism to the MMR vaccine) and concluded that Wakefield acted "dishonestly and irresponsibly", and that he had a "callous disregard for the distress and pain the children might suffer". It turns out he performed spinal taps on children without ethical approval!

The citizens of Babel find out their language is confounded in the Blasphemer's Bible. Oh noes!

Avatar takes the lead for the largest grossing movie in history, after ousting Titanic, prompting this loser to get an Avatar tattoo!

I've updated the Super C ROM notes to include the scores, high score, invincibility timeout, and starting area.


A mental mind-fuck can be nice

Feeling: Cold Sore

2010/01/28

After getting sick and having cold winds blow on my face all winter, I finally developed the expected cold sore. I hate the sore, but I appreciate the timing, since it will be all healed up by the time I'm on stage for Rocky.

God confuses the language of all those who were working on the Tower of Babel in the Blasphemer's Bible. Sucks to be them!

Anyone who spends a good deal of time on the Internet will eventually see cartoon characters altered into pornography. As George Carlin once said, seeing Elmer Fudd getting raped by Porky Pig is hilarious, and I think we can all agree on that, right? However, as this man recently learned the hard way, cartoons involving under-aged characters having sex counts as child pornography in Australia! This is bullshit, and it's actually quite insulting to those children who are abused in such a manner. Child pornography is illegal because it creates permanent psychological damage to children involved, but a drawing of an under-age child doesn't harm anyone. Cartoon characters can't undergo psychological trauma, they can't be abused or neglected, and they can't be sexually assaulted, because they're not real. They don't even look the least bit human! Sure, the viewer of this cartoon child pornography is a depraved pervert, but it's not illegal to be a depraved pervert unless you're hurting someone. The law isn't very consistent either. It's perfectly legal in Australia to write a book that contains children having sex using detailed imagery, but use a cartoon and you're a criminal. Really, this man should only be guilty of copyright infringement.

Apple's tablet, the iPad, is slated to be released in March. Like most of Apple's products, it looks really cool, but can't do anything a serious user would need. It doesn't support USB, it doesn't read Compact Flash, it doesn't have a keyboard, it doesn't render Adobe Flash, it doesn't have a webcam, it doesn't have HDMI output, it doesn't use 16:9 display, is doesn't multi-task, it doesn't support the Ogg codec, it doesn't allow custom software, it doesn't have a removable battery, it doesn't support Secure Digital, the list goes on and on. Basically, it follows the typical Apple idiom--it's great for people who don't know about all of the other things that are so much better and cheaper.

Also, don't drink holy water. It's often contaminated.


Don't dream it, be it

Feeling: Stoned

2010/01/27

I went to the dentist this morning for two more fillings. I had one on each side, so most of my mouth was numb. I felt like a stroke victim as I ate my breakfast and took great care not to eat my own tongue.

Saab found a buyer at the 11th hour. Dutch manufacturer Spyker picked them up for the bargain price of $400 million; $74 in cash.

God comes down to peruse the Tower of Babel in the Blasphemer's Bible.

Many people justified the Supreme Court giving corporations the right to spend any amount of money on politics by saying that corporations are like people, and they should be given the freedom to have political clout. I think this cartoon pretty much sums that up. Furthermore, Jamin Raskin, professor of constitutional law at American University D.C., reminded us that Exxon Mobil made $85 billion in profit last year. If they wanted to invest a mere 10% in politics (a good investment), they would be spending $8.5 billion each year to help promote the candidates who would protect their interests. That's more money than was spent on the campaigns of Obama, McCain, and all the House and Senate campaigns of 2008, combined!

RHPS rehearsal tonight! Showtime is fast approaching...


I really love that rock 'n roll!

Feeling: Happy

2010/01/26

Last night I edited out the audio of the Rocky Horror Picture Show to include only the scenes with Riff-Raff. That dropped the hour and a half movie down to fifteen minutes. Riff-Raff doesn't have that much dialog, but he's seen in the background through most of the movie. I still have a lot of movements to practice.

I am a fan of both freedom of expression, and the eradication of religion. That probably seems contradictory to those who didn't grow up in religion. While I agree that choosing your religion, and performing the rituals associated with it, should be covered under freedom of expression, I also realize that people almost never choose their religion. 99% of religious people are the same religion as their parents because they are indoctrinated into it at a very young age. Most religious adherents teach that their way is the only way, or at the least, the best way. They also force unnecessary restrictions and guilt on their members. Case in point, Muslim veils for women. The women who follow strict Muslim rules must cover their entire body and face in thick black cloth to hide their beauty from men. They are indoctrinated, and often believe, that this is a good thing because it equalizes them and prevents male objectification based on appearance. This, however, is flawed logic. You can't force an entire group of people to do something, threaten to punish them with death if they don't comply, and then tell them it's all in the name of freedom. As such, I support France's movement to ban face veils. Not because terrorists and thieves often use Muslim veils to commit crimes, but because they are used as a form of forced sexism.

The purpose of the Tower of Babel is explained in the Blasphemer's Bible.

Weird Al is making a movie for Cartoon Network. Awesome!

Want to know how to properly use a semicolon? This cartoon can help!


Hot patootie, bless my soul!

Feeling: Happy

2010/01/25

Sweet baby Jesus burgers, there's a new arcade in the Genesee Valley Mall! They have DDR Extreme and In The Groove 2! I can get back in shape without having to go to a lame gym! A long Saturday of DDR and then practicing the dances of RHPS has left my legs feeling like Jello!

Want to experience vertigo? Check out these rotatable 3D images of Utah.

The next time you think you're a badass, try giving yourself an appendectomy!

Add "box of wine" to the list of things you shouldn't microwave.

The Tower of Babel begins construction in the Blasphemer's Bible.


Flow morphia slow

Feeling: Happy

2010/01/22

Michigan was trying to pass a bill that would make it illegal to write text messages on your cellphone while driving. Initially, it had a lot of support from both parties, but now the Republicans are holding it up (shocking, I know). They don't like the idea of giving a police officer the power to pull someone over just because they're texting while driving. A spokesperson for the GOP also said that they were apprehensive about regulating common sense. The guy actually said, "if texting is illegal, do we now also have to make it illegal to eat and put on make up while driving," to which I yelled at my stereo, "YES! YOU MORON!". All laws are common sense! Do you really think you need to create a logical syllogism to explain to people why murder and rape are illegal? I half expected him to say, "drinking and driving shouldn't be made illegal because it's common sense not to drink while you're intoxicated." People are going to drive dangerously, but that doesn't mean we can't create laws to try and deter them. When I was 20 I read an entire 500 page novel while driving to and from work. Do you really think I should be allowed to do something so dangerous?

And while I'm complaining about stupid government lawmakers, the Supreme Court recently overturned the state of Iowa's ban on political campaign donations. Many people were complaining that this was a matter of free speech, but that's bullshit. Everyone in the country has a protected right to go around telling anybody they meet about the the candidate they're backing. What they shouldn't have the right to do is give a check for a billion dollars to a candidate; that has nothing to do with free speech. Special interest groups giving gobs of money to a political candidate is an obvious conflict of interest.

Better than Starbucks. If you're a man... or a lesbian.

Nimrod makes his first appearance in the Blasphemer's Bible.

Check out some of man's greatest inventions.

Hey Australians, it turns out that if you make medical claims, you actually have to back them up.

Off to my friend Nate's birthday party!


Lovely party!

Feeling: Happy

2010/01/21

Rocky Horror rehearsal was fun last night. I was made aware, yet again, that I fail at dancing. I'll be doing a lot of practicing before show time!

Still on the topic of the Problem of Evil, here is a transcript of the interview with the BBC and Archbishop of York, John Sentamu. You'll notice that, like a politician, Sentamu never answers any of the questions directly, and instead changes the subject so he may answer a totally different question each time. This is typical with the Problem of Evil, because you really can't answer it with the god that most Christians believe in.

See the fabled Hebrew map that doesn't reflect reality in the Blasphemer's Bible.


The darkness must go down the river of night's dreaming.

Feeling: Happy

2010/01/20

I had a dentist appointment this morning. Two more cavities to fill. My plan is almost complete! Soon, all of my teeth with be nothing but fillings and I'll be able to drink all the pop I want without worrying about tooth decay! Bwa ha ha! In the meantime, I'm out $200.

On the topic of throwing money down the health care drain, Republican Scott Brown won the senator seat in Massachusetts, thus giving the Republicans the majority they need to block the healthcare reform bill. Most of my friends are currently living without medical insurance, and, thanks to Massachusetts dropping the ball, they're probably going to have to live without insurance for a long time to come. Well, luckily, I've devised a solution for all my friends, and Scott Brown has given my idea his full support. All you have to do is just never get sick or injured ever again. That way, you won't need health care reform. See? Problem solved!

Reason #152 why I prefer BBC News over Fox News: They're not afraid to discuss the Problem of Evil.

Noah finally kicks the bucket in the Blasphemer's Bible. It's about time!

Haiti, you can relax. John Travolta is sending you plenty of badly needed e-meters so you can all become Scientologists! Problem solved!

Rocky Horror rehearsal tonight.


Like you're under sedation!

Feeling: Happy

2010/01/19

My first rehearsal for RHPS was last night. We practice the Time Warp, and watched the movie to become reacquainted with it. For some cast members it was their first time seeing it with a call-back-competent audience. Tickets are on preorder at the Buckham Alley Theatre web site, showings will be February 12/13/14. Everyone I know should come. Twice.

Want to see something totally unfair? Check out the Blasphemer's Bible.

Sweet glorious pixel art.


It's astounding! Time is fleeting!

Feeling: Adventurous

2010/01/18

My weekend was good times. On Friday night I went to the Rocky Horror Picture Show auditions and was given the part of Riff-Raff (because nobody else wanted it). De Fault, De Fault, the two sweetest words in the English language! My date on Saturday went great, and my I had a blast hanging out with my friends on Sunday. We walked along a frozen pier and through an icy park. Safe and warm!

Martin Luther King, Jr. Day means having to hear a whole bunch of guilt-stricken crackers use the euphemism "African American" over and over again. There are a lot of black people who are from countries other than Africa, and, surprise surprise, there are a lot of black people who are not American. The phrase also implies that all people from Africa are black, which is also incorrect. Stop being stupid. Actually, stop using racial groupings all together. Creating special terms to categorize people based on their skin pigmentation doesn't exactly remind us that we're trying to observe equal rights, in fact, it only reinforces the idea that we are different. Besides, all Homo sapiens are technically African, so the prefix is useless.

Noah sons hide his shame in the Blasphemer's Bible.

Interested in where we are in relation to the rest of the universe? Check out the Atlas of the Universe.

Be dangerous with your kids.


Busy weekend ahead!

Feeling: Okay

2010/01/15

Gay teen is worried that he might be turning Christian! God bless The Onion.

Noah gets naked in the Blasphemer's Bible.

I went to get some water at the water cooler today, and a small yellow spider dropped down in my cup. That's not water at all. That won't quench my thirst.

Why don't you do your home town a solid and add some buildings to it in the WikiMapia project.

I'm going to try out for the RHPS cast tonight, gotta date Saturday, and Sunday I'm hanging with some peeps. Busy, busy!


Pat Robertson is very predictable

Feeling: Okay

2010/01/14

By now, everyone has heard about the magnitude 7 earthquake that caused massive damage and death in Haiti. The country is in desperate need of help and people across the globe are sending workers, money, and supplies for relief. Everyone on Earth recognizes this for the tragedy that it is. Everyone, that is, except for the people who listen to Pat Robertson. Pat Robertson doesn't think that the earthquake was caused by moving tectonic plates, oh no--he believes that God is punishing the Haitians for making a deal with Satan to rid them of the French who had enslaved them back in the 1790s. While I find Robertson to be a cruel and idiotic waste of flesh, he's really not that far off from Christian beliefs. What's the death of a few hundred thousand innocent people to God? Read your bible and you'll find that that's just small potatoes compared to other instances of God's spiteful wrath. Obviously, most sane people disagree with Robertson, in fact, Fox News anchor, Shep Smith, made a very poignant statement in regard to Robertson's remarks. Who would have thought that Fox News would hire someone who didn't talk out of their ass?

The real history of the Haitian Revolution of the late 1700s was a very messy, but not very mystical. The French had occupied Haiti and filled it with African slaves to grow and manufacture goods for export. After years of deplorable treatment, the slaves finally revolted against the French, driving them out of the region. This was the spark that caused the eventual downfall of the entire Western slave trade. There was no deal with the devil, and no reason for God to destroy the region with an earthquake 220 years after everyone involved was already dead. And if God really had a problem with this, why didn't he punish the French for participating in the massive slave trade of the 1700s which started the whole problem?

Noah discovers the joy of being plastered in the Blasphemer's Bible.

Probably the best snack I've had in a billion years is dill pickle flavored roasted sun flower seeds still in their shells. I skeptical at first, but once I tried them I fell in love. I like them even better than the unflavored kind.


It's super fabulous!

Feeling: Okay

2010/01/13

Another baby dies in an exorcism while its parents try to rid it of its demons.

God sends a huge gay icon to Noah in the Blasphemer's Bible.

Why are you wasting money on that oxygen bar, when your pets need it more than you?

Fox News has hired Sarah Palin to do several television news pieces for the next couple years. I am adamantly against this. It was bad enough that a book publisher convinced the her she was literate--but now, television producers are trying to convince her that she isn't really suffering from mental retardation. What kind of sick people would take advantage of someone who can barely speak English by putting them on TV just for our amusement. Granted, it's Fox News, so it's not like they have any credibility to lose, but that's still no excuse. Palin should just be given some dolls and glittery stickers and put into a nursery somewhere where she will be safe from dangerous objects like sharp-pointed ink pens and dictionaries.

That's right, the A-Team is being made into a movie!

It turns out that the states that ban gay marriage have higher divorce rates than the states that allow gay marriage.


I want my QVC!

Feeling: Okay

2010/01/12

Making year-end predictions doesn't require ESP after all. But it helps if you can fake it.

God promises not to murder everyone on Earth anymore in the Blasphemer's Bible.

More videos for your enjoyment: Shirley's Christmas Party and a Super Mario Jesus Flipbook.


Do you want a smore? Smore of what?

Feeling: Okay

2010/01/11

My weekend consisted of: Skating and DDR Friday night, sledding and videogames Saturday, Devin's goodbye party and fixing computers Sunday. And a painful leg cramp for good measure!

God finally gets around to laying down the law in the Blasphemer's Bible.

How well do you know your connectors? I got 10/10!

I'd just like to remind any parents out there who pierce the ears of their infants... you are horrible parents and should have your children taken away!


Kicking babies is hilarious!

Feeling: Okay

2010/01/08

Noah gets the go-ahead to eat every animal in the Blasphemer's Bible.

Expect to piss yourself laughing at these painfully obvious newspaper headlines.

Also, enjoy the best mugshots of 2000, thanks to the Smoking Gun. One of them is even from my home town of Clarkston, MI!

The next time you think you had a bad day, try and compare it to this guy!

My rib and tailbone are both still sore, but that doesn't mean I can't go sledding tomorrow!


It's a bitter-sweet symphony

Feeling: Okay

2010/01/07

Noah does some serious killing in the Blasphemer's Bible.

100 quotes that every geek worth their salt needs to know (although, some of them are a little generic).

Win Dir Stat is a cool program that displays a graphical representation of your hard drive and gives several display functions that Windows's Explorer can't do. In particular, it allows you to sort folders by size and number of files within them. This allows me to tell you the bands on my DAP of who I enjoy the most songs. Here are the top 20 in order:

Queen, Rilo Kiley, Alanis Morissette, The Goo Goo Dolls, Weezer, Billy Joel, Green Day, Barenaked Ladies, Alice Cooper, Voltaire, Nightwish, David Bowie, Aerosmith, Eve 6, Pink Floyd, Azure Ray, Guns N' Roses, Matchbox 20, Jenny Lewis, and Metallica.

This woman is worried about the sound that jackhammers might have on her unborn baby.


Please don't feed the trolls

Feeling: Blah

2010/01/06

Everyone gets off the boat in the Blasphemer's Bible.

History textbooks should say how great Ronald Regan was for protecting us from becoming communists. Natural selection and evolution is hooey. Women should bake cakes, not carry briefcases. Self breast-exams should not be explained to women. You can trust me, I'm from Texas.

Quote found on teh interwebs: "Faith doesn't move mountains... but you should see what it does to skyscrapers."

Now this is an impressive trick shot in pool.


Ready when you are

Feeling: Blah

2010/01/05

If you're from Ireland, don't read today's Blasphemer's Bible. Ireland just made blasphemy illegal with a fine of 25,000 euros! Apparently, it's bad to criticize priests for raping children, the pope for saying condoms makes AIDS worse, and Muslims who blow up thousands of innocent people every year. This is certainly one of the dumbest things a country can do. I really don't see how they plan on enforcing it since the very existence of other religions is considered blasphemy by most religions. As a form of protest, the Atheist Ireland group published these 25 blasphemy quotes.

Five more extra-solar planets have been found!

This is why women have a low opinion of their looks. Pay close attention to the back, arm, collar bone, and eyes.


I'm as sore as a foot fetish whore in a shoe store!

Feeling: Blah

2010/01/04

I'm not fully healthy yet, but I'm no longer sick. I just need a few more days of recovery to get my voice back, and I'll be my usual cheery chipper self once more.

I did end up trying to snowboard for the very first time on Sunday, and while I didn't do any permanent damage, my entire body is in pain. I fell on my ass so many times that it feels like I've been doing hardcore gay porno shoots for a week! After failing at figuring out how to turn properly, and smacking my tailbone for the umpteenth time, I switched to my skis and enjoyed the second half of the day feeling much more graceful and sure of myself.

The New York Times made an excellent chart of icons about popular events of the past decade.

The dove returns to the ark in the Blasphemer's Bible.

Doctors believe that masturbation will cause blindness... provided those doctors are from Egypt. Way to teach sexual education, morons.

There is a hilarious satire piece over at science based medicine that compares all the stupid hippie claims against medicine to dentistry. It's a wonderful angle that really puts things into perspective. Are you afraid of Big Pharma? Well, now you can fear Big Floss too!

Fans of Johann Pachelbel will appreciate this rant.