July, 2008

If I could be any animal I wanted, I would be a wumpus

Feeling: Happy


Although many people knew that Kevin Trudeau's book, Natural Cures 'They' Don't Want You to Know About, is a total scam, a lot more people bought it. Unfortunately, they didn't realize that Trudeau has been convicted of fraud and larceny, and has been banned from promoting any product or service (although books are protected by free speech). So, many people ordered his book with their credit cards, only to find that Trudeau hasn't stopped scamming people after all. Here is a small list--748--of some of the complaints about his book and business practices.

Super Mario Bros., proper.

Michael Shermer, editor of the magazine Skeptic, explains the science behind out of body experiences.

Okay, I'm almost finished with the August issue of Cerebral Seepage. Almost everything is done, I just want to add a few more beautifications before I finalize it. It will be up tomorrow evening.

It's a shpadoinkle day

Feeling: Okay


Powerthirst, the new energy drink that gives you gratuitous amounts of energy! And Powerthirst 2, now in a rocket can!

Those videos will have to tide you over since I'm doing nothing but Cerebral Seepage right now. The August issue should be out on time.

We only come out at night

Feeling: Okay


Today is NASA's 50th anniversary, so here are fifty things the company created.

I've been really cramming time into the August issue of Cerebral Seepage, so no real updated today.

I've killed a million petty souls

Feeling: Drained


The weekend was amazingly tiring. Saturday was spent at Frank and Erika's wedding reception, and the rest of the day was spent having fun and sitting around a bon fire in the evening. Sunday, I was at the Silverleaf Faire, which took a lot out of me. Walking all day in the hot sun is rough, but seeing all my old friends is always good times.

Check out the 20 Most Incredible Light Phenomena here.

In a way to mock the FCC, the Jimmy Kimmel Live! show has a segment called "Unnecessary Censorship" which bleeps and blurs shows whether it's needed or not. Take a look at the Sesame Street and Mr. Rogers episodes.

Don't forget to waste some time playing Desktop Tower Defense.

Only if you want to will you fly away

Feeling: Inept


Capcom is really awesome. Not only are they remaking one of my favorite games of all time, Bionic Commando, but they're also doing various other releases for the series including the soundtrack for the original game. But even more than that, they interviewed several big fans of the game and put some of their words in the liner notes of the soundtrack. You can see my contributions here. Also, Gearoid Reidy, the man I was in contact with for the soundtrack, was able to dig up some of the old composer information for the old NES Capcom games, so I can now give proper credit to many of the oldies in the Videogame Music Preservation Foundation.

While it is the right of any parent to name their kid a bizarre concatenation of letters, and I would do the same if I were in their shoes, some parents take it too far. Ask the parents of the New Zealand girl whose name is Talula Does The Hula. Yes, they actually named their daughter "Talula Does The Hula", but thankfully the courts showed up, mocked the idiotic parents, and changed it to something more reasonable. The courts there also had to change the names "Fish and Chips", "Yeah Detroit", and, my personal favorite, "Keenan Got Lucy and Sex Fruit".

I'll be at the Silveleaf Faire this weekend, though I'm not sure if I'll be there both days or not.

I'm so ronery, so ronery, so ronery and sadry arone

Feeling: Pouty


What's the deal with Chinese restaurants and the amount of food they give you. I don't think that I have ever in my life finished a meal of Chinese food. They could sell me half the amount of food for the same price, and I don't think I would even care.

As any atheist knows, they will be "Left Behind" when the rapture comes and all the Christians are whisked off to the blissful heaven of the clouds. But what they don't tell you in church is what happens to your pets the day after. Since pets are vile pagans, they can't inherit the kingdom of God and will be stranded the day of rapture. Luckily, a member of Craig's List, has the answer.

Rage and love, the story of my life

Feeling: Excited


More updates in the Bionic Commando Database.

Ugh, I'm lazy today.


Feeling: Happy


I'm currently in the process of converting Lukrain's Boffer Guide into the new BofferWiki. All further updates will go into the Wiki, and visitors are now able to submit their ideas directly to the site without having to wait for my lazy butt to get do it for them.

I've been trying to get back down to my pre-broken arms weight of 155, but I'm not doing so well at it. Although I get a decent amount of exercise in a week, I kind of like eating a little too much. So, I think I'm going to invent a new diet. I call it, the Candy Diet. You can eat all the candy you want. The only problem I foresee with the diet for far is that it makes you gain a lot of weight and it deteriorates your health and causes cavities in your teeth. Once I work out those minor issues I'm taking it to the talk shows.

Quite a lot has been added to the Bionic Commando Database thanks to the help of DinosaurBob. Check the heroes, the Chain of Command comic, and the merchandise pages.

The Child Online Protection Act FUCKING sucks! And I say "FUCKING" because the FUCKING First Amendment of the FUCKING United States Constitution gives me that FUCKING right; because the Act was FUCKING defeated. FUCK you Clinton, FUCK you Bush, and FUCK anyone else who wants to try and stop me from writing FUCK. If you don't want your FUCKING kids to read the word FUCK, then pay attention to the FUCKING sites they go to on the FUCKING Internet.

Hickemo is the new goth. It's part hick, part emo.

Feeling: Happy


I didn't make it out to the renfaire over the weekend. I was out really late on Friday hanging with my homies, and I was in no condition to do anything but sleep on Saturday morning. It was a lot of fun hanging out though, so I didn't feel bad for skipping it.

While at the bookstore on Saturday I came across a very cool comic. I'm not normally one for comic books, but Mouse Guard is really great. The artwork is wonderful and the story is an interesting fantasy tale. The real catch comes from the fact that all of the characters are mice. The book's blub mentions that the comic is like Stuart Little combined with The Lord of the Rings; that's pretty accurate.

If you haven't seen the Daft Hands - Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger video you really need to. This is a combination of creativity, talent, and far too much free time.

The August issue of Cerebral Seepage is coming along nicely. All of the articles have been decided upon and several of them are complete. Only a little more writing and editing is needed. There is still quite a bit of work needed on finding/making graphics for it, but at least I have the cover art already. I need to set everything as well, which is always a daunting task, but it looks like it will be ready on time.

I'm ready for your love

Feeling: Cheery


A little while ago James Randi went on a lecture tour called "The Search For the Chimera." You can download his Princeton appearance via Torrent here. The lecture is both entertaining and very informative. He performs several tricks, tells some wonderful stories, discusses his education foundation, and explains his work in debunking charlatans like Uri Gellar and Sylvia Browne. I highly suggest it to those of you who are fond of learning the truth.

More Elite Forces updates to the Bionic Commando Database have been added.

I'll probably be at the Silverleaf Renfair this weekend unless something comes up, or I remember something that I've forgot.

Chopsticks should really be called eatsticks because you don't chop with them, you eat

Feeling: Pensive


My lyrics database now has over 2,600 songs.

The supplies and Elite Forces sections of the Bionic Commando Database have been updated.

If you ever have a hankering for nostalgia, go into your MySpace, Facebook, or whatever, and view your emails from a couple of years ago. You'll find the first email that your last lover sent you, the weirdo who ended up becoming your best friend, and plenty of strangers who said hi, but never made it past a few emails before never replying again. Memory lane is an old inbox.

I added some hacking notes for Double Dragon II: The Revenge. You can now give yourself infinite lives, infinite energy, invincibility from normal attacks, and always keep your weapon.

Restriction is half the fun

Feeling: Lonely


You know, there has been a lot of tragedy in the news lately. The tsunami from the Indian ocean, hurricane Katrina, the earthquake in China... Well, last night I joined the ranks of the destitute, because yesterday, on my way home, I got a flat tire. It was awful. I had to pull over, loosen the tire, jack up my car, replace the flat tire with my spare, and then put the flat into my trunk. It took close to fifteen minutes, -and- I got my hands dirty. Worse yet, today, I had to spend my lunch hour getting it fixed. Surely now I understand the suffering of those who have witnessed, first-hand, the destructive power from the forces of nature.

Some causes don't need a ribbon. And if you're wondering why I grouped the Pope in with Nazis and Klansmen, you obviously haven't been paying attention.

Some people just shouldn't wear thongs.

Time, don't let it slip away

Feeling: Happy


I awoke this morning to an incredibly frustrating dream.

Sometimes when I'm bored and home alone I make fine music like this.

Leave it to the Japanese to create ice cream flavors like squid gut, garlic, and raw horse flesh.

When in Rome... eat a Roman

Feeling: Sleepy


The weekend was blast-o-rific. I spent Friday night hanging out and staying up late. I slept in on Saturday, I picked up some new clothes, played some videogames, and then played several games of airsoft after it got dark. I have several random bruises and a nice welt on my side to show for it. Sunday was a bit lazier. I went to Rachel's, went for sushi (my food was cooked), and then hung out with Tabree. We spent the evening talking about politics. It was funny, because I remembered being a kid and listening to "grown ups" talk about politics and how wasteful it was, and yet, here I was, in a pointless conversation about things that are far beyond our control. When did I grow up, and how do I get back to being a kid?

Good luck on the Candy Bar Identification Quiz. I scored 17/20.

Here's a very cool after-image color illusion.

If you want to know the truth behind movies that are "based on a true story" take a look at Chasing the Frog and have all your optimistic dreams shattered.

Fans of Family Guy will enjoy this behind-the-scenes look at the voice actors.

Fellow skeptics may find the 20/20 segment on James Van Praagh interesting. He's one of the best alleged psychics in the US right now, but he does a pretty awful job. Kudos to 20/20 for doing what most TV news shows won't do, provide an objective look at psychics. The segment is in two parts, one and two.

Taste me again for the first time

Feeling: Excited


I added hacking notes for the game Cabal, and also updated the notes for Little Nemo: The Dream Master.

I'm still working on my magazine. It's coming together nicely. I'm also adding to my pirated music collection. I love when I find meta tags that are way off. Someone actually assigned "pop" as the genre for the band Queensr˙che.

Praise Jebus!

Feeling: Happy


I was eating dinner at Olive Garden last night and my server explained to me how everyone there appreciates when I come in. I can't remember ever being appreciated by an entire wait-staff before, it really made my day. I assume they like me because I don't ask for much, and I tip well. Certainly not for my conversation skills, because I rarely talk to them, but then they rarely strike up conversations.

I had a brief dream this morning. I was at a hotel/condo on the beach of what appeared to be a Great Lake. The weather outside was terrifying, an extremely powerful winds were causing waves of thirty feet right at the shore. I looked out the window thinking to myself, that we (humans in general) caused this. I didn't know why for sure, but I knew that humans caused this awful weather. I wasn't even frightened by the wind storm. I also knew that there was a woman in the hotel room with me, but I never saw her. When it got dark, it began to snow and the ground was instantly covered. I found myself outside about a mile away from the hotel, heading back to it in my winter gear. To speed up my travels, I would throw myself into the snow, and use the slickness of my winter gear to sled my body several feet across the snow. When I got to the doorway of the hotel I cleaned all the snow off my body, and some snowboarders were standing outside the door talking about the hills they've been on. I went inside an the woman was there with her mother. The woman was kind of like a conglomeration of several women I know. Her mother was there as well, nagging at her. I did my best to stay out of it while taking off my boots, but I wished that the women would stick up for herself, and tell her mom off.

I've updated the Bionic Commando Database some more with new people and merch. I've also cleaned up some typos and removed some vandalism.

Speaking of vandalism, did you ever notice how Lavasoft's Ad-Aware logo kind of looks like an anarchy symbol over the globe?

Home is were your heart is, but what a shame, 'cause everyone's heart doesn't beat the same

Feeling: Happy


I saw the movie Wall-E again last night with a different group of friends. I picked up a few things that I missed the first time around. The movie is still ultra-cute x2.

I awoke to an interesting dream regarding mall theft this morning.

Not much else to say today, although I've been working on the next issue of Cerebral Seepage. If anyone else plans on writing an article for this issue let me know as soon as possible; everyone is welcome.

I was barely seventeen, and I once killed a boy with a Fender guitar

Feeling: Happy


If you're ever in Ireland, you may want to check out this SCUBA school with a problematic name.

There are several new NES hacking documents online now. I've mapped out the important memory locations for Ring King (give yourself 99 for punch, speed, and stamina and infinite life), Toobin' (give yourself infinite cans and always have the x9 modifier), and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (infinite life for all turtles, and infinite scrolls, missiles, and rope).

Fellow programmers will enjoy this very brief overview of computer languages.

I started reading The Golden Compass last night. It's a little odd, but we'll see how it goes.

Ho hum

Feeling: Content


I had a wonderful weekend. I spent the 4th with some of my friends. First, I weeded their flowerbed (it needed it), then we played some games from our youth like "500". As the day continued we lit off some illegal fireworks and consumed lots of pizza. When it became dark we started up a bonfire and conversed for hours. I'm still a little sore from the full day. Saturday and Sunday were both pretty slow, but I managed to have fun with friends, hang out with the parents, and still get my house work taken care of. Good memories.

My parents presented me with the book "An Incomplete Education: 3,684 Things You Should Have Learned but Probably Didn't" which is just my style. It contains an overview of basically every school subject and presents itself in a quirky way. I love it. I also updated my books section. Nothing new, just some clean up.

I don't need no arms around me, and I don't need no drugs to calm me

Feeling: Happy


Foolish mortals, Viacom now owns your soul! Because YouTube wasn't fast enough at taking down videos copyrighted to Viacom, a judge ruled that Viacom will be given full access to YouTube's records for all of its users, including user names and IP addresses. Google (the company that owns YouTube) fought gallantly to keep the evil Viacom from stealing this information, but Viacom is going to get it. They claim they're using to prove that YouTube users spend more time watching their copyrighted videos than generic homemade videos for another lawsuit, however, with this information they can figure out every movie that you have ever watched or posted and potentially sue you too. More information can be found here.

In Columbia, Ingrid Betancourt was rescued from a jungle prison after being held captive for over six years by a Marxist-Leninist revolutionary guerrilla group called the FARC. The Columbian government gathered intelligence over several months and sent in soldiers as spies to infiltrate the FARC and finally trick them into putting 15 hostages onto a helicopter which the Columbian soldiers used to fly the hostages to safety. The FARC still holds hundreds more hostages, but Betancourt, being a known politician, was the most prolific. At a press conference Betancourt called the operation a miracle and thanked God, and all her friends and family who prayed for her safe return. Now, I'm sure that Betancourt's faith is important to her, but I think she should have passed on God and thanked the Columbian soldiers who actually did something. I mean, the all-powerful, all-loving God who she worships has had over six years to free her, and even though it is supposedly completely within his power to do so, he didn't lift a finger to save her. Instead, several Columbian soldiers risked their lives for months gathering intelligence and finally, in an extremely gutsy move, rescued her and several others. And yet she thanks God. Personally, I'd be a little pissed if I were one of those soldiers.

Last night I finished reading the book "A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius" by Dave Eggers. It's the biography of the author as he takes care of his younger brother after their parents both die of cancer around the same time. It's both sad and funny, and I highly recommend it.

It's a three day weekend, so I probably won't post again until Monday. Happy Firework Day to everyone. More importantly, happy birthday Jackie--who on the 5th--turns really, really, REALLY, O-L-D!

My friend June is a scary puppet.

Why don't you get away? Well, I'd rather cry all day!

Feeling: Cold Sore


I reworked my old Spirit Color page from 2003. It now uses much cleaner JavaScript and works in FireFox. If you are new to the site, take a look at it. It's so incredibly mystical and magical and spiritual that it could only be made on the Internet!

I've updated the Animal Groups page thanks to additions from Michael and Joshua.

The Film section has been cleaned up a little as well and now properly centers in the browser.

cockeyed.com has a wonderful chart of people's heights and weight, with corresponding photos to show what that person's body looks like.

You are the habit I can't seem to kick

Feeling: Cold Sore


I had an odd dream last night about a car crash.

I'm doing a issue of Cerebral Seepage for August. I just started writing for it today and I'm also accepting articles by other people for this issue. If you want to write an article for it, send me an email with your idea and I'll give you the parameters.

I started getting a cold sore today. I guess it was only a matter of time after recovering from my cold that it would show up. Normally they form on my lower lip, in a turn of events this one is forming on my upper lip. I think it'll go away faster because of this, so that's cool.