Stephen Lynch - If I Were Gay

Here we are dear old friend
You and I drunk again
Laughs have been had
and tears have been shed
maybe the whiskey has gone to my head

but if I were gay
i would give you my heart
and if I were gay
you'd be my work of art
and if I were gay
we would swim in romance
but I'm not gay
so get your hand out of my pants

It's not that I don't care
I do
I just dont see myself in you
Another time, another scene
I'd be right behind you
if you know what i mean

'Cus if I were gay
I would give you my soul
and if I were gay
I would give you my whole (being)
And if I were gay
we would tear down the walls
but I'm not gay
so won't you stop cupping my...hand!

We've never hugged
We've never kissed
I've never been intimate
with your fist
But you have opened
brand new doors
So get over here
And drop your drawers