Many people have fond memories of playing Simon's Quest in 1989, only to discover that playing Simon's Quest in 2009 leaves much to be desired. I never got a chance to play Simon's Quest as a child, so I decided that I would give it a go as an adult. I had heard several scathing reviews of the game, but reminded myself, this is Castlevania, it was made by Konami, it has to be good. I tried to put everything about the game out of my mind and play it fresh, but it didn't take long to throw in the towel. The game is unplayable. Here's a typical hint from the game:

A graveyard duck? Really?

As many people have already ranted about, Simon's Quest suffers from an atrocious translation. Excluding mundane conversations like, "Buy some garlic?" nearly all of the text in the game is useless. A few of the "hints" that the townsfolk give you are actually lies purposely added by the creators to make the game more difficult.

Rumor has it, you're a douchebag!

There are many puzzles in the game, and none of them are explained. The dialog could have been left in Japanese and you'd have the same chance of winning. Anyone who did actually beat this game had to resort to the walkthrough in Nintendo Power, issue #2. Translation aside, Castlevania II is actually a really fun game. So, not wanting to give up on it, and also not wanting to have my every move be dictated by a walkthrough, I searched around for a dialog patch that would convert the game's worthless hints into actual hints. Not finding one, I took it upon myself to rewrite the dialog in order to make the game playable by the average gamer.

The irony is, that in creating this dialog patch, I ended up having to read several walkthroughs, thus ruining the surprise of the game. However, my loss is your gain! Anyone who wants to experience the full enjoyment of Simon's Quest without having everything ruined for them will now receive straight-forward hints like this:

Egad! That's actually useful!


What are you waiting for? If you've never played Castlevania II: Simon's Quest, there's no better time than now! Even if you've already beat the game, that's no excuse not to play through the game again and see all the new dialog!

List of Changes

Dialog Changes

  • All of the "false hints" have been removed. This game is hard enough to figure out on its own, and the items are too costly to waste.
  • Some of the dialog has been moved around in the game to make it flow smoother. Thus, you are no longer told, halfway through the game, that churches heal you.
  • Someone in each town will tell you which town you're in. This makes navigation easier.
  • Place names now match those found in the game's literature. Ondol is now properly Oldon; Alba is Aldra; etc.
  • The really vague hints have been made clearer. You no longer need to know what "a flame flickers inside the ring of fire" means.
  • Several more hints have been added throughout the game that help explain what you need to do and where you need to go next.
  • Signs are much more descriptive. They tell you the direction to other towns, mansions, and landmarks.
  • The prologue explains the story much better.
  • The endings have been rewritten so that they are now fitting for how well you do.

Program Changes

  • Text is written to the screen a lot faster so you don't have to wait as long to read the messages.
  • The transition from day to night is much faster. I took it from 10 seconds down to 4 seconds.
  • The Grim Reaper has twice as many hit points as before, though he's still pathetically easy.

Graphic Changes

  • A couple extra symbols have been added to the font including arrows and an ampersand. These make the sign dialog more concise.
  • Dracula's face has been redrawn. Many people complained that he looked like Death, so I replaced his face with the vampire graphic from the password screen.