Really? This is how God’s going to get the Israelites to stop grumbling against Moses? By making a man’s rod blossom? *sigh* Numbers 17:1-7 is gonna be another winner, isn’t it?

Picking a leader is always an important task, but it must be done carefully and fairly. Doing it at random is a terrible idea because you could get someone completely unqualified, but having a single person out of a multitude chose the leader for everyone else is probably even worse, because it’s completely unfair. It’s much better to vote for a leader so that the majority of people will get the leader they feel is best qualified to lead them. Now there are some major problems with the first-past-the-post voting style that most countries use, but it’s still vastly superior to God’s method!

And let’s be real here, everyone already knows who God is going to choose. He’s been playing favorites since day-one, and he’s specifically telling the tribe of Levi not to use their proper tribal leader’s name, but to put Aaron’s name on the rod instead. And besides, God is all-powerful! He can choose anyone he wants, at any time he wants, and there’s not a damn thing anyone can do about it. All this rigmarole of choosing a staff to blossom is just a smokescreen for a decision that’s already been made, and you can be sure that all the other Israelites know this.

Which means that doing this to eliminate grumbling is completely counter-productive. If you were asked to take part in an election you knew was fixed, and you knew you’d lose, would you feel empowered? Of course not! You’d be even more disgusted by the “winner.”

But let’s assume the Israelites are certified idiots who believe this is a legitimate way to choose a leader. First, why bother with a such a petty “miracle” like having a dead stick sprout flowers? God can part seas, rain frogs, and turn rivers into blood, isn’t this a bit beneath him? And why wait until tomorrow? Does he need to prepare his all-powerfulness?

To me, this plan sound precisely like the sort of thing a couple of con artists would concoct. Why flowers from a dead stick? Because it’s something they can actually pull off. Why wait until tomorrow? Because you don’t want someone to catch you gluing flowers to your stick in broad daylight. The bible makes a lot more sense when you view it as a long con.



Monty writes:


"Making a man's rod blossom" is my new favorite euphemism.

Baughbe writes:


God putting flowers on his stick... I like that idea.


Oh the irony!