I’m doing the entirety of Exodus 26 in a single comic, because there’s not very much to talk about. This entire chapter consists of God explaining the layout of his tabernacle. Jesus may have been skilled in the ways of carpentry, but God’s is a total failure; his instructions are about as useful as a screen door on a battleship (Biff!). Sensible building instructions should be structured in a list of descending importance. You start with the foundation and frame, and then move on to the walls and roof, and much later, the furniture and decorations. God, on the other hand, must be an effeminate interior decorator because he jumps directly to the color, material, and fasteners of… the curtains: only the most exquisite will do, and they must have golden cherubs embroidered into them!

Now, when most people think “tabernacle,” they envision a church, but remember, this is a primitive desert-dwelling tribal people, so God’s church is a tent. A tent where God is most concerned about it’s appearance; the actual structure is tacked on as an afterthought.

Like all of God’s beautiful creations, the tent is an elongated box—30×10 cubits—or about 45×15 feet. It consists of an acacia wood frame, and two “rooms” separated by a veil. The larger room that you enter into is called the Holy Place; it houses the golden lamp and the golden table of wasted-bread-that-poor-people-aren’t-allowed-to-eat. Behind the veil at the back of the tent is a smaller room called the Holy of Holies (hurray for euphemisms!), where the Ark of the Covenant is kept.

Nothing really special here other than the tent being about a thousand times more extravagant than is necessary. The base is silver, the curtain fasteners are gold, the curtains themselves are made of the best cloth, and have gold woven into them, and the entire thing is furnished with giant gold objects. While this is nothing compared to the monuments of Egypt at the time, it’s still a gaudy kick in the face to all the poor people among the tribes who had to give up their milk money to make it.



Sharkie writes:


Its time for God eye for the straight guye verybody. God will tell all the things you'll need to look fabulous. Mostly, he'll make you buy alot of gold and silver.

Baughbe writes:


Makes a wonderful allegory for the whole religion: all show, poor structure.


Oh the irony!