In Exodus 25:23-30, God explains his dream table. It’s also made of shittim wood and completely covered in gold, with gold molding, and gold trim. It has dishes, spoons, pitchers, and bowls, all of pure gold. Finally, bread must always be set on the table for God.

What? Does God need bread to eat? Does he need a gold place setting to feel like a baller? Again, this doesn’t fit with any modern interpretation of God. However, it certainly fits with an ancient interpretation of God. Ancient gods interacted with the lives of mortals, they caused the wind and rain, lightning and thunder, earthquakes and tornadoes. But now, we know that these are natural processes, so gods have had to shrink down into the shadows. The Old Testament describes God as living atop a volcanic mountain, descending onto his golden ark, and eating bread off his golden table. The New Testament changes him into a mere mortal, though at least capable of miraculous feats. But what is God now? He is an invisible spirit who resides in a place beyond this universe and only changes the world in tiny barely perceptible ways. Behold, the incredible shrinking God.

But, God never did eat this bread, and he never did admire the gold table. If God did really ask for these things, I would call him greedy and wasteful, but it seems much more likely that the priests demanded to live an extravagant lifestyle with everything made of gold and all the free food they could eat.



Maju writes:


It'd make more sense if instead of saying "God demands it" it'd say "mortals offer it". Just another clear sign of the book being written by earthly people dreaming awake.

Baughbe writes:


Religion: Best Scam Ever!!!

TheAlmightyGuru writes:


@Maju: Some of the language is written with God asking, but in this section it's a demand. God is all about "Thou shalt make _____".

Richard writes:


And all this must be placed in the temples where the humble priests of god reside in abject poverty, dressed only in the rags of riches and eating only of the tiny grandiose feasts offered to them by the fearful populous.

Sounds legit. Sign me up.

989fox989 writes:


bread must be placed on the table for God to eat. Why do I have this vision of God descending every night to eat some bread like Santa Claws?

989fox989 writes:


just realized I misspelt Santa Claus.


Oh the irony!